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LIPSTICK AND FANGS: The Slightly Sexy Memoirs of a Vampire Adventuress by IRENA CANDY

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It is a well-known fact that the most important vampires in the world are male, good-looking, and rich. Some of them are even aristocrats. Where does that leave poor little Ellen, who started off as a half-starved kitchen maid without a cent to her name? Living on kitchen scraps and sleeping on a cold floor, Ellen isn't against pulling up her skirts a few coins, but when two teenagers give her a potion that turns her into a blood drinker, that's carrying experimentation a little too far. Not only did they turn her into one of the undead, they stole the few rags she had on and rolled her naked body underneath a hedge. But Ellen proves that you can't keep a good vampire down! Involved in the blood drinker's equivalent of a learn while you earn program, she makes her way to London, falls into the clutches of an avaricious Madam, and finds out that men will pay for what she's got. Sharpening her fangs for the next customer, she moves on to a higher class house of joy and learns what men are looking for in the undead. As she pulls herself up by the garter straps, she learns to read and write, plays dead for men who like their sex on the cold side, and takes hot baths to keep her other clients happy. She even manages to survive attempted murder, ship wreck, two marriages, and a twelve-year-old vampire Bible-thumper. If there's one thing Ellen has, it is persistence. After she's seduced in a weak moment and buried alive by the evil vampire Adrian, she vows to track him down and get her revenge. Sexy, smart, and completely without morals, Ellen is the kind of vampire who manages to survive, no matter who is holding the stake.

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